Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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