it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
