Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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