Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
