You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
