You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
