I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
