I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
