New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
