SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
