Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there was a trapeze. enough said
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
