i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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