You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
