This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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