it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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