Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize