my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize