And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
