Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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