he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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