its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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