I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
