I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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