i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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