I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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