Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
