i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
