Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize