imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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