The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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