he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize