I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
