Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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