I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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