I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
