remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
