Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
