Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
