just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
