Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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