proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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