im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
