I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize