You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
