At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
