last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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