So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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