I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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