That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
