but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize