i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
