I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
