You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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