I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
