no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize