and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize