You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My ass is underappreciated
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
