The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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