So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
