He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
