o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
